I’m nothing like my mother. Really, truly, we have very little in common. I have dark skin and dark hair. She is fair-skinned and bleach-blonde. My eyes are a combination of her brown and my father’s green; mine are light brown with green, flowery rings at the center of my iris.

It makes sense that we’re nothing like each other—I was raised by my dad (after my mom kidnapped my little brother and I rather than go through a custody battle. She eventually returned us, but that’s a story for another day, or maybe never). But my dad is dead now, and she’s the parent I have left.

If you’d asked me to describe my mother 5 years ago, I’d probably have said: drug addict, absent, selfish, loveless. But she’s not the person she was 5 years ago, and neither am I. Mom went through a Christian (cult) rehab program, and she came out having found Jesus anew. As annoying as it is to be utterly unable to have a conversation with her in which she doesn’t mention Jesus, I have a mom now, and I couldn’t say that until my late 20s. She’s never been clean this long, and I guess to God be the glory.

Parental relationships are tough. Mother’s Day is tough. Whether you have living parents or dead parents, good parents or bad parents, these days will bring forward a decent amount of reflection. What did I inherit from each of my parents? From my father: stubbornness, anger, compassion, guilt, the ability to see good in bad people, intelligence, ambition, a love of animals.

And from my mother: hope.

For all of you out there, whether Mother’s Day is a good or bad day, whether it brings pain or a sense of familial belonging, one thing is for sure: It’s over, and we don’t have to worry about it for another year.

xo Mae

Medusa Publishing Haus

We’ve received nearly 40 submissions for The Book of Queer Saints Volume II. Keep them coming! The submission period ends June 30, 2023. Submission guidelines here.

Open Submission Calls

• Scissor Sisters: Sapphic Villains Anthology, an anthology from Brigids Gate Press edited by Rae Knowles and April Yates, will be accepting submissions May 1 - May 31. Scissor Sisters seeks to reclaim the trope of the predatory lesbian. Read more about their submission requirements here.

• Why Didn’t You Just Leave, an anthology about people who stay in haunted houses, is set to be released by Cursed Morsels Press and edited by Nadia Bulkin and Julia Rios. They announced submission dates and guidelines today. The open call begins accepting submissions August 1, 2023. More information here.

• Bury Your Gays: An Anthology of Tragic Queer Horror from Ghoulish Books, edited by Sofia Ajram, opens submissions on May 1. Submission guidelines can be found here.

• The Pleasure in Pain, a collection of queer erotic horror edited by Roxie Voorhees, will accept submissions from June 1 to July 1. Submission guidelines found here.

Book Releases

House of Rot by Danger Slater, Deluxe Package **Preorder** From Tenebrous Press

The pink mold growing on the walls isn’t the worst thing about Elenya and Myles’ brand new fixer upper.

There’s also the inexplicable footsteps in the night; the sealed-over windows and doors; the neighbor that hears their screams but can’t be bothered to help.

Soon, there’s no leaving at all. No hope of cleaning. And that encroaching mold? It’s practically become a second skin.

Welcome to the House of Rot. You’re never getting out.

The deluxe package includes:

1. House of Rot softcover copy, signed by the author and cover artist

2. House of Rot eBook (PDF, ePub & mobi versions)

3. One (1) syringe of (non-psychedelic) liquid mushroom culture, with which to start your very own Mushroom Extravaganza. Choose from five (5) varieties.

4. Exclusive House of Rot t-shirt or tank top

5. Exclusive deluxe vinyl sticker and bookmark

What Draws Us Near Anthology, Little Ghosts Books

Why do we want what we should not have? Or worse yet, why are we captivated by what we know to be dangerous? Is it a self-destructive impulse that comes from inside of us? Or does something darker from outside pull us in?

From the images contained on a mysterious videotape, or the figures depicted in a medieval mural, to a conversation that might have been, or the last words a benefactor wants to hear on their deathbed. Each one of these stories explores what draws us near.

You should stop reading, but you know you won’t.

Thank you for reading this week’s Dispatch From Heck.

If you enjoyed this newsletter and are not a monthly or yearly subscriber, tips are welcome via CashApp ($maemurrayxo) Venmo (maemurrayxo), or PayPal (@maemurrayxopay).

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Mae

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Buckle up…

Some of you may have noticed there was no Dispatch last week. It was my intention to send one later in the week, but many of you also know I have been struggling with some health problems lately.

On Tuesday, when Dispatch 006 was originally meant to go live, I was receiving two fillings, my first dental work other than wisdom tooth removal ever. I’ll be 31 this upcoming Sunday. I talk a lot about my impoverished upbringing in Arkansas, and given the stereotypes surrounding the Ozarks and Appalachia, it should come as no shock that I come from an area where dental care is a luxury. Most members of my family have rotting teeth, brown teeth, missing teeth, etc.

My teeth have always been relatively healthy. Knowing I didn’t have access to dental care meant that I cared for them well, though I have one extremely crooked canine tooth that was pushed back in my mouth by an unwieldy baby tooth that didn’t fall out until I was 14.

I’ve always been self-conscious about this crooked tooth. It’s been my dream since I was a teenager to get braces. It would correct the off-set of my bite, and I would be able to smile without covering my mouth.

So I began the journey of figuring out how to get affordable braces without dental insurance. I signed up for a health credit program and went to the dentist, hoping to have braces within a week or two of my visit.

The only problem was, an unexplainable shadow was found beneath one of my molars. Thus began an odyssey of being bounced back and forth between dentists, orthodontists, periodontists, and endodontists. I’ve experienced swelling and pain in my left jaw for years, and have had many, many tests and scans done in an attempt to find the source. I had reached a stage in my life in which I’d given up and accepted that I would always experience this swelling and pain.

Now, let’s fast-forward. Two-and-a-half weeks ago, I had surgery for another condition, endometriosis. This left me with three abdominal incisions. The incision in my belly button popped open at some point, and last week I went to my OB for a wound culture to make sure it wasn’t infected. I have lupus and am on multiple immunosuppressants, including two forms of chemotherapy, so infections are very, very serious. (My lupus symptoms began after my wisdom teeth were removed at 18, though it took around 6 years to diagnose. I do believe this is all related… I digress).

The wound culture came back overwhelmingly positive for a very rare bacteria called Actinomyces neuii, which causes a condition called actinomycosis.

The bacteria that cause this infection typically live in dental plaque. It can result from: dental problems, such as decay and poor oral hygiene. trauma to the mouth or face, if particles of dental plaque enter the mucous membrane.

If this condition goes untreated, it could be fatal. And it was found in me because of a wound culture taken from an unrelated surgery.

After an infectious disease consult, I’m on a new round of antibiotics and awaiting an appointment to explore further diagnostic and treatment options.

Clearly, I’ve had a lot going on and a lot on my mind. But I remain hopeful and in high spirits. My lupus has fought remission since my diagnosis, baffling my rheumatologist. We have seen little improvement in my routine bloodwork despite being on almost every lupus medication available.

I believe this condition is the key to everything, and I believe treatment will change the quality of my life for the better for the first time in a decade.

But all this has got me thinking a lot about the horror of dental work, teeth, the pushing and pulling of bone, and how it’s said that the first thing people look for on a first impression is a smile. Why are we attracted to exposed, sticky, wet bone?

So, without further ado, I present Dispatch 006: The Dental Issue.

Medusa Publishing Haus

Yesterday I unveiled the official Medusa logo on Twitter! It was designed by UK-based artist lauzeart. I’ve worked with Laura many times and am always delighted by the outcome.

Submission Calls

• Scissor Sisters: Sapphic Villains Anthology, an anthology from Brigids Gate Press edited by Rae Knowles and April Yates, will be accepting submissions May 1 - May 31. Scissor Sisters seeks to reclaim the trope of the predatory lesbian. Read more about their submission requirements here.

• Why Didn’t You Just Leave, an anthology about people who stay in haunted houses, is set to be released by Cursed Morsels Press and edited by Nadia Bulkin and Julia Rios. They announced submission dates and guidelines today. The open call begins accepting submissions August 1, 2023. More information here.

• Bury Your Gays: An Anthology of Tragic Queer Horror from Ghoulish Books, edited by Sofia Ajram, opens submissions on May 1. Submission guidelines can be found here.

• The Pleasure in Pain, a collection of queer erotic horror edited by Roxie Voorhees, will accept submissions from June 1 to July 1. Submission guidelines found here.

Tooth Horror Book Recommendations

• Queen of Teeth by Hailey Piper

• Tooth Worms by Lor Gislason

Thank you for reading this week’s Dispatch From Heck.

If you enjoyed this newsletter and are not a monthly or yearly subscriber, tips are welcome via CashApp ($maemurrayxo) Venmo (maemurrayxo), or PayPal (@maemurrayxopay).

If you have news you’d like to see featured in a future newsletter, please email mae@medusahaus.com

Have a great week!

Mae

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I probably spend too much time thinking about cults. Some might say I grew up in a cult—I attended the Southern Baptist church in Arkansas every Sunday morning, evening, and Wednesday night until I was 17 years old, even though I had become an atheist by the time I was 13. But you couldn’t really talk about that where I was from, not without losing social and economic support.

I grew up with that Old Time religion. My church tried to make it new by introducing drum kits and electric guitars, but it was still the fire and brimstone when Brother Steve, and later Brother Jeff, took the pulpit. I remember the gruesome details of the crucifixion being imparted to me when I was 8 years old. I remember how much it terrified me, and the guilt I felt that someone would go through all that…for me? In a way, it made me feel special too. Even after I became an atheist, sometimes I prayed. I had a scary life, a hard life, and you’ll talk to anyone and no one if you really need to talk.

Religious trauma is something I still grapple with. I think a lot of my feelings of self-worth, and so much of my fear, is still wrapped up in how ‘good’ I am perceived to be. It put a lot of pressure on me as a child and instilled in me a sense that, even when I’m doing my best, I’ll never really be a good person. There was only ever one really good person, and we hung him on the cross to die.

When I watch horror movies or read books that deal with the cult of religion, it taps into that child-part of me that lay awake at night thinking of the stigmata. Folk horror has its roots deeply embedded in religion; in the war between paganism and Christianity, Protestantism and Catholicism, the Abrahamic faiths, folk medicine and Western medicine. And that war is one that lives inside me every day, whether I want it to or not.

When I watch a horror film with these themes, it is the violence within myself made manifest onscreen. That is why it is perhaps my favorite subgenre, alone with found footage/found document.

Am I the only one?

Love,

Mae

Medusa Publishing Haus

The Book of Queer Saints Volume II has updated its submissions deadline! Writers who wish to submit can now do so from May 1-June 30, 2023. This change has also shifted our timeline for the project. Our official release date will now be October 31, 2023. You can check out the complete submissions guidelines and timeline updates here.

Submission Calls

• Scissor Sisters: Sapphic Villains Anthology, an anthology from Brigids Gate Press edited by Rae Knowles and April Yates, will be accepting submissions May 1 - May 31. Scissor Sisters seeks to reclaim the trope of the predatory lesbian. Read more about their submission requirements here.

• Why Didn’t You Just Leave, an anthology about people who stay in haunted houses, is set to be released by Cursed Morsels Press and edited by Nadia Bulkin and Julia Rios. They announced submission dates and guidelines today. The open call begins accepting submissions August 1, 2023. More information here.

• Bury Your Gays: An Anthology of Tragic Queer Horror from Ghoulish Books, edited by Sofia Ajram, opens submissions on May 1. Submission guidelines can be found here.

• The Pleasure in Pain, a collection of queer erotic horror edited by Roxie Voorhees, will accept submissions from June 1 to July 1. Submission guidelines found here.

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Mae

It’s been a rough week in Mae Land. My cold turned into bronchitis so severe that the blood vessels in my throat ruptured from cough. A separate problem presented itself at the same time; a reaction to the progesterone treatment for my suspected endometriosis. Severe uterine bleeding that left me anemic and tired. When I’m so ill, I can’t take my lupus medications (which are all immunosuppressants), so the pain associated with lupus can flare.

It’s pretty clear why I love body horror. The uncontrollable takeover of a body, by illness or curse or alien—the helplessness of it is something I can relate to intimately. My Brave New Weird Award-winning story The Imperfection addressed some of my own experiences with body horror quite viscerally.

Running in the indie horror world can sometimes feel like a never-ending hamster wheel, where if you stop running or get off, you’ll be left behind, and it will be all the more difficult to rejoin the race. When you’re dealing with a chronic illness (or illnesses), it can consume your life, set you back on your projects, make you feel guilty and pressured to keep going.

But then I think to the body horror stories and films I love. How the body horror is the central player in the story; all else in that person’s life falls away as they contend with the changes and illness they’re going through.

And I shit you not, thinking about it, I don’t feel so bad anymore.

xo,

Mae

Medusa Publishing Haus

The Book of Queer Saints Volume II Indiegogo campaign was officially funded on Saturday, April 8. There are 3 days remaining to get orders in to access exclusive queer stories, merch, and production updates.

Submission Calls

• Why Didn’t You Just Leave, an anthology about people who stay in haunted houses, is set to be released by Cursed Morsels Press and edited by Nadia Bulkin and Julia Rios. They announced submission dates and guidelines today. The open call begins accepting submissions August 1, 2023. More information here.

• Bury Your Gays: An Anthology of Tragic Queer Horror from Ghoulish Books, edited by Sofia Ajram, opens submissions on May 1. Submission guidelines can be found here.

• The Pleasure in Pain, a collection of queer erotic horror edited by Roxie Voorhees, will accept submissions from June 1 to July 1. Submission guidelines found here.

George A. Romero’s elusive vampire flick Martin (1976) is now streaming for free on Tubi.

Thank you for reading this week’s Dispatch From Heck.

If you enjoyed this newsletter and are not a monthly or yearly subscriber, tips are welcome via CashApp ($maemurrayxo) Venmo (maemurrayxo), or PayPal (@maemurrayxopay).

If you have news you’d like to see featured in a future newsletter, please email mae@medusahaus.com

Have a great week!

Mae

Subscribe now

Share Dispatch From Heck

Today’s dispatch is going out late. It’s no secret I struggle with my physical health. Between lupus and suspected endometriosis (which I will be having surgery for in two weeks), my part-time job as an after school teacher, and running a small business as a freelance writer and publisher—not to mention grappling with my mental health—it’s difficult not to fall prey to overwhelm, not to let some aspects of life fall by the wayside.

There are days it’s difficult to get out of bed, or to accomplish every task, and many, many days that I look around at my messy apartment and think, “God, I won’t have time to clean this until next month.” And even then, I might not have the energy.

So what keeps me so determined to come back to horror, to this community that I love? To continue to want to publish and be published, to run writing sprints and online community events and beta read and do all the things writers and editors do? Why would I rather watch the new horror movie than get that extra two hours of sleep, even when I know I desperately need it?

The answer is simple: It’s the love of it. Despite being tired, despite all of it, I would run myself into the ground for the love of the genre and the people within it. And I know I’m not the only one.

So this late note today is for all of you out there who are feeling tired. Run down. Feeling battered from rejections. Unable to make peace with your unfinished manuscript. Struggling to raise money for your short film. I see you, your suffering, your weariness, and your unending love for your craft. You are not alone. I’m over here, too.

Half-asleep.

Medusa Publishing Haus

• The Book of Queer Saints Vol II’s fundraising campaign is currently 80% funded! With only 9 days left to raise the remaining $1566, every hour is critical. Please continue sharing far and wide, across all your social media platforms. Have a friend who loves queer media, horror, or both? Make sure they know about the campaign. It takes a village to raise a baby book!

• The book retailer perk has been updated. The price has been reduced by 35%, rendering up to 65% profits for your independent bookstore! Make sure you check out the updated perk.

• Link to fundraiser here.

• Link to The Book of Queer Saints Vol II’s submission guidelines here.

Submission Calls

• Bury Your Gays: An Anthology of Tragic Queer Horror from Ghoulish Books, edited by Sofia Ajram, opens submissions on May 1. Submission guidelines can be found here.

• The Pleasure in Pain, a collection of queer erotic horror edited by Roxie Voorhees, will accept submissions from June 1 to July 1. Submission guidelines found here.

Thank you for reading this week’s Dispatch From Heck.

If you enjoyed this newsletter and are not a monthly or yearly subscriber, tips are welcome via CashApp ($maemurrayxo) Venmo (maemurrayxo), or PayPal (@maemurrayxopay).

If you have news you’d like to see featured in a future newsletter, please email mae@medusahaus.com

Have a great week!

Mae

I think I’ve figured out why I like horror movies, why I have a strong preference for those like I Spit on Your Grave (1978), Evil Dead (2013), and Smile (2022), just to name a few. Movies where a woman goes a little bit mad and the people around her either suffer or leave her or are forced to deal with the consequences of having known her in one form or another.

I see my relationships reflected in these extreme situations because I come from a life of extreme circumstances. My child-self survived poverty to the point of starvation, abuse and neglect, substance use, prisons, rehabs, unsafe and sometimes terrifying environments. Despite the fact I’ve broken (mostly) free as an adult, my mind has been conditioned to be afraid, distrustful, and to fight for its life. As a result, the way I handle the anger, sadness, and frustration deeply rooted in my soul can sometimes seem extreme. A lot of the time, I find myself completely lost in a reaction, only to wake up in a state of numbness—because to let myself feel the full force of regret and shame would mean to implode.

When the women in horror movies scream, kill, rage, I feel it in the primal part of my soul. The angry, traumatized part. In horror movies, the woman always reaches a breaking point. Battered, bruised, she becomes possessed, and suddenly her actions, even the most vile, no longer hold the same meaning. She is not held to a standard of perfection; she is released from being the perfect friend, the perfect wife or girlfriend, the perfect mother, the perfect professional. She cuts her face because it doesn’t matter if she’s pretty. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of her, because what she has become or what she is up against is so much bigger than that.

And I think there is beauty in the fact that horror movie audiences love her. Likewise, I hope the horror community can continue to love me too, even when I’m spinning like a top.

Because I am that very witch.

Medusa Publishing Haus

The Book of Queer Saints Vol II’s crowdfunding campaign is currently 59% funded, thanks in large part to donations made during the #TransRightsReadathon.

All team members for QS2 were announced last week and early this week. Featured writers include Wonderland Award-winner Sam Richard (Sabbath of the Fox Devils, To Wallow in Ash), Bram Stoker-nominated Paula D. Ashe (We Are Here to Hurt Each Other), and Alison Rumfitt, author of the critically acclaimed novel Tell Me I’m Worthless. Lor Gislason, editor of Bound in Flesh: An Anthology of Trans Body Horror, will be first reader. TrubornDesign will be doing cover design, and Hailey Piper (Queen of Teeth, The Worm and His Kings) will write the foreword.

Submission guidelines for The Book of Queer Saints Vol II can be found here.

To preorder your copy of QS2, click here.

Submission Calls

Bury Your Gays: An Anthology of Tragic Queer Horror from Ghoulish Books, edited by Sofia Ajram, opens submissions on May 1. Submission guidelines can be found here.

Wilted Pages: An Anthology of Dark Academia from Shortwave Books, edited by Christi Nogle and Ai Jiang, is wrapping up its successful crowdfunding campaign in three days. Don’t miss your opportunity to preorder the book and get merch exclusive to the campaign. The extended submissions deadline for marginalized writers is March 31. Submissions guidelines here.

Releases

Soft Targets by Carson Winter, released by Tenebrous Press, hit shelves on March 22. Soft Targets is a reality-bending novella about malignant malaise; the surrender to violence; and the addictive appeal of tragedy as entertainment. Order here.

Weirdpunk Books announced that it will be releasing Samantha Kolesnik’s novella Elogona later this year.

Second Sight Films released George A. Romero’s Martin: Limited Edition 4K UHD & BluRay.

A troubled young man, who believes himself to be a vampire, goes to live with his elderly and religious cousin in a small Pennsylvania town where he tries to redeem his blood-craving urges after he falls for a lonely housewife, all the while his hostile cousin becomes convinced that the young man is actually Nosferatu.

Note: This product does not ship outside the UK and Ireland.

Thank you for reading this week’s Dispatch From Heck.

If you enjoyed this newsletter and are not a monthly or yearly subscriber, please consider tipping via CashApp ($maemurrayxo) Venmo (maemurrayxo), or PayPal (@maemurrayxopay).

If you have news you’d like to see featured in a future newsletter, please email mae@medusahaus.com

Have a great week!

Mae

I’m excited to be writing this inaugural Dispatch From Heck. Maybe a little too excited. I have a strong sense, day in and day out, that I am living too much in my head. There are so many thoughts I’d like to share, but there is a certain level of fear that comes with vulnerability.

If you subscribed to my former newsletter Horror Writer’s Support Group, you know that I deeply value vulnerability. I have encouraged others to wear their hearts on their sleeves. Protect yourself and your boundaries, yes. But also—let people know who you are and how you feel, because those things have meaning, and they’re often universal.

You may have noticed somewhere along the line, I became less vulnerable. More prone to holding my feelings in until they became overwhelming, and making bad decisions as a result. The truth is, something happened that made me want to withdraw. I put my walls up, and they were impenetrable. I once spoke of ‘horror community’ as a monolith. I learned the hard way that we are not homogenous. I got hurt. Maybe we don’t all want the same things. Maybe to listen is not enough. Maybe to be heard is not enough.

It’s difficult not to fall into despair. Who can you trust? Who has your back when shit gets hard and real? The only way to know is to go through something hard and real and see who is left on the other side.

One thing I know for sure: There are good people in these parts. I know because they hold me every day, in texts and emails, DMs and Zoom calls. Even in real life. Maybe we aren’t living in Hell after all. Maybe we’re living in Hell-lite. Maybe we’re living in Heck.

The Trans Rights Readathon began on Monday and runs until March 27. If you’re fundraising for a day or for the whole week, here are a few trans horror authors you should know:

• Hailey Piper

• Alison Rumfitt

• Andrew Joseph White

• Lor Gislason

• Cassandra Khaw

• Billy Martin (Published as Poppy Z. Brite)

Subscribe now